From New Year’s Resolutions to Long-term Transformation

Do you want to make big changes in your life this year? 

Whether or not you believe in New Year’s resolutions, if you’re reading this blog, I’m guessing you have some goals for the coming year.

As you probably know from your own experience, having goals is one thing. Sticking with them is another. 

So how do you stay motivated to keep working toward your goals?

Whether it’s changing your diet, going after the career you want, or creating a healthy romantic relationship, the key to reaching your goals isn’t to do everything at once (as tempting as that might be).

Instead, the way to transformation is to find the easiest point of entry—the smallest, most reasonable action you can take—and start there.

The Power of Baby Steps 

Instead of trying to tackle your goals all at once, the key is to baby step your way towards them. In other words, it’s about figuring out the easiest thing you can do right now that will bring you closer to where you want to be. 

When I decided to take better care of my body, I didn’t go straight from smoking, eating cheeseburgers, and drinking Diet Coke to a strict Paleo diet. It took me years to make the switch. 

Along the way, I took baby steps, like ordering dinner salads. I’d still have a cheeseburger and fries, but I made myself eat a salad first. Sometimes the salad would fill me up, and I’d eat less of the rest of my meal. But I still had everything I wanted on my plate. I wasn’t ready to give up the cheeseburgers and fries—yet. 

But eventually I was ready. I went from ordering dinner salads to wrapping my burger in lettuce to swapping a cheeseburger for a salad. I noticed how different I felt after eating a salad for lunch instead of a cheeseburger and fries. My body actually started to crave healthier foods.  

Over time, it got easier and easier to make smarter choices about what I ate. 

Along the way, I learned to give myself credit for the healthy choices I was making, which motivated me to take bigger and bigger steps toward eating better.

Giving ourselves credit fuels our motivation 

It’s way too easy to undervalue your efforts when you’re baby stepping your way toward your goals.  

Whenever you take a step in a positive direction, your negative mind automatically kicks in, stirring up thoughts like this: 

“Big deal. I just ordered a dinner salad.” 

“Why bother? I’m never going to get in shape anyway.”

“This is ridiculous! All I did was swap out my cheeseburger. Why should I love myself for that?”

Because it’s oriented toward survival, your negative mind is always going to look for the next place to go.

As a result, when you make a healthy choice, like skipping dessert or substituting soda with water, you often tell yourself it doesn’t mean much, or you think about the next step you need to take.

This is why it’s so important to pause, observe what your negative mind is telling you, and answer back by acknowledging yourself for making smart choices.  

If you let your negative mind be the judge after taking a baby step, two things happen:

  1. You miss out on the dessert, the soda, or whatever it is you’re skipping.

  2. You take away an opportunity to feel good about doing something positive for yourself. 

On the other hand, when you learn to recognize yourself for each step you take, it not only becomes easier go after your goals. It helps you enjoy the journey.

In other words, when it comes to staying motivated to reach your goals, it’s not about the size of the step you take. It’s about learning to acknowledge yourself for taking a step in the first place.

 

Do you want to learn more about how to reach your goals this year? In my new book, Life Launch, I give you practical and powerful guidance on how to clear a path toward the life you want, from your emotional, physical, and financial health to your career and relationships. Download a sample chapter here.

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Our parents, ourselves: Forgiving ourselves for how we coped

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Clearing the Path to the Career You Want