How to stay mentally sane during times of crisis…

I was trying to think back as to whether I have ever had an experience like what is happening around the coronavirus. There has really been nothing quite like it.

What came to my mind were:

The LA riots - I lived near the heart of it and my family and all our close friends decided to leave town to stay out of harm’s way.

9/11 - I was in college at the time, and the whole country stopped. My college roommate, her boyfriend and I went to the supermarket, stocked up on food and didn’t leave the house or get out of our pjs for a week.

But this is different…

It’s like a storm you can see coming on the horizon, but you are not sure when it is going to get here or how bad it will be. How do you make sure you take care of yourself and prepare for the worst, while at the same time not lose your sanity in the process?

01.
For me, I feel calm first by determining the factors I can control and making a plan to take care of those things.

In this situation, I bought groceries so I will not have to leave the house if I do not want to or it is not possible to do so. I also stocked up on my immune boosting supplements (I do not have the strongest immune system), so why not make sure I have the supplements I need to help myself.

02.     
I make a list of the things that could potentially make me anxious in this situation so that I can address them 1 by 1.

Here is my list combined with some of my clients' concerns: I get sick, I lose money, I feel trapped at home, my parents get sick.

03.     
I start talking to myself about the anxious list and journal about what I can say to myself about the situation as a whole, and then journal about each specific item.

The most calming thing I can say to myself about the list as a whole is some version of the serenity prayer that they use in AA and other anonymous meetings: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.” 

You don’t have to be religious to use this prayer – rather, it’s about understanding what you have control of and what you don’t and allowing yourself to accept that knowledge.

As for each specific item I suggest playing with what you would tell a friend if they were feeling anxious about those things. For example, “I’m scared I’m going to get sick” can be addressed as I’m going to do everything in my power to keep myself healthy, and if I happen to get sick, there is a super high chance that I will recover and be just fine.

Or, “I’m going to feel trapped”, can be addressed as -- what can I do with my time at home that I have not had time to do because life has been so busy? Is there an inspiring project I would like to take on? Or should I organize the garage? Or do a little gardening?

04.     
I practice being in the moment.

Anxiety comes from worrying about the future and what is going to happen. After I have journaled and addressed all my future fears, I practice just taking life in bite-sizes pieces. I tell my clients, choose to focus on what you can do in the next hour that takes care of you and makes you feel a little calmer. Is it reading your favorite book? Taking a bath? Watching a funny movie?

05.     
Limit the amount of time I spend watching the news.

Once I got myself educated enough to know what I needed to do to prepare, I took a break from reading more about the virus. Watching the news all day can connect you to the fear and panic messages the media puts out there in order to keep you watching. I suggest paying attention to how you feel when you are connected to the media, and if you find it hard to separate yourself from it to make rules for yourself to stay informed but not be inundated with it.

06.      
I meditate and visualize everything being ok.

There are a lot of things I cannot control in this situation, but one thing I can control is the energy I am sitting with in my body and what energy other people are going to feel off of me. Stress lowers our immune systems (I believe my immune system became weakened by the stress I went through as a child), and I truly believe if we all take time during this crisis to connect to our true selves, we can have a healing impact on ourselves and others.