In a nutshell, attachment theory is all about how our childhood experiences with parents/caregivers impact our relationships later in life. It looks at what we learned to do, and how we learned to survive, in response to our unmet emotional needs as kids. 

When people feel understood, accepted and loved first, their capacity for listening expands infinitely. When you’re in your place of power, the other person can be in their place of power, and your interactions become more fulfilling—for everyone involved.

I have two pieces of good news: 1. Your emotions are temporary. 2. You have the power to shift your emotional state. Learning to shift your emotional state can be life-changing. It’s also one of the most important practices to master on the road to becoming your best self.

As a therapist, I’m really glad our culture is coming around to the idea that we could all use some mental health support from time to time. If you’re thinking about starting therapy, here are 6 tips to help you make the most of it.

Have you ever felt rejected? Of course you have. We all have, and it’s not fun. So what can we do to make rejection sting less?

In this post, we’ll look at how to end a friendship when it’s taking a toll on your mental health. What do you do when a friendship is draining you—or when the relationship becomes harmful?

Breakups hurt. Whether they involve romantic partners or friends, there’s no way around the pain when a relationship ends. That said, breaking up with a friend is different than breaking up with a romantic partner. Once you’ve decided the friendship isn’t working, it can be tempting to get it over with and call it quits straight away. But that’s not actually the best way to go about it.

I realized friendships aren’t always forever. People change. Priorities shift. Over time, some friendships just run their course. Sometimes it happens gradually, without a conscious decision or a big conflict to end things. Some people just naturally drift apart, and it’s completely fine for both sides.

Though the results aren’t usually instantaneous or obvious, the effects of sitting with your emotions tend to show up in powerful ways.

How do you respond when the people in your life keep making the same mistakes over and over again and it’s driving you crazy?

Equanimity is one of the most powerful tools I’ve learned from Buddhism. Almost every day, I find myself in situations that call for equanimity.

It might be easier for some of us to admit than others, but here’s a truth: we all have imperfect parents/caregivers. And another truth: our imperfect parents/caregivers were raised by imperfect parents/caregivers.

Ultimately, letting go of my exit strategy allowed me to re-enter my life and figure out what I needed to do to create the kind of future I wanted. 

What is the "tyranny of the should" and how do we let go of it?

If we grow up believing we’re responsible if anything upsetting happens at home—or in moments when we don’t get the emotional support we need—we gradually lose pieces of our sense of self-worth.

We make up stories and false beliefs about ourselves to support the idea that there’s something wrong with us. And we tell ourselves this is why we’re not getting what we need emotionally. For example: “I’m not loveable” or “I’m not good/smart/talented enough.” Over time, we develop coping mechanisms to back up our false beliefs.

What can we do to calm the voice of the negative mind? It starts with learning to see it for what it is—and understanding that it’s only one part of who we are.

Is anger hurting your relationships or stopping you from creating the life you want? If so, how can you deconstruct anger and cope with the emotions underneath it?