As a therapist, I’m really glad our culture is coming around to the idea that we could all use some mental health support from time to time. If you’re thinking about starting therapy, here are 6 tips to help you make the most of it.

I’ve spent years cultivating the “perfect” coping skills. Creating a strong emotional support system. Building a career that makes me feel purposeful and smart. Putting together a balanced exercise routine of yoga, cardio, and weights. Developing exceptionally healthy eating habits. And then I had a baby.

Ultimately, letting go of my exit strategy allowed me to re-enter my life and figure out what I needed to do to create the kind of future I wanted. 

What is the "tyranny of the should" and how do we let go of it?

If we grow up believing we’re responsible if anything upsetting happens at home—or in moments when we don’t get the emotional support we need—we gradually lose pieces of our sense of self-worth.

We make up stories and false beliefs about ourselves to support the idea that there’s something wrong with us. And we tell ourselves this is why we’re not getting what we need emotionally. For example: “I’m not loveable” or “I’m not good/smart/talented enough.” Over time, we develop coping mechanisms to back up our false beliefs.

What can we do to calm the voice of the negative mind? It starts with learning to see it for what it is—and understanding that it’s only one part of who we are.

We generally use alcohol and drugs for two reasons: to protect ourselves from emotions we don’t want to feel and/or tap into feelings of happiness and fulfillment. Why does this matter? If we’re using anything on a regular basis to avoid our feelings—or access parts of ourselves we can’t reach when we’re sober—we’re not building our coping skills.

Anxiety is the most common mental health problem in America. Why? Because in our society, we are taught it is not okay to feel fear.

When I first learned about meditation, I was in my early 20’s. I thought it was a completely “out there” practice, just for hippies and Buddhists. But that all changed one weekend when I decided to check it out for myself.